he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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