The maid of honor just puked.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
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