and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
