did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
