he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
