I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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