When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
