HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
