Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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