Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
