carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
