i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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