I feel great
I just peed on a car
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
