But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
All the doctor said was why
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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