so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
