I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
