Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
