and you said cock pushups were impossible
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
