I got her a Nickelback box set.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
