I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
