It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
