Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize