take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
