don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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