That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
