And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
