I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
