If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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