I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
