yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Is it because I queefed?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
