he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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