Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
