dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
