Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
