i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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