no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
