so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
