Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
