Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
