he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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