Is it normal to miss your booty call?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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