Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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