Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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