By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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