Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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