is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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