at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
