oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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