is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
