if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
