I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
