i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
